I love holidays. I love the idea of them. I love decorating. I love celebrating them. I love the anticipation, I love the moment it arrives and I even enjoy the days after. Always have, and I hope I always will.
As a child, I never fully realized what it took for my mom (especially as a single mom) to accomplish this feat. Executing secret Easter Baskets and Egg Hunts... hiding the Christmas presents, and even sneaking in to exchange a quarter for my tooth. As much as I love holidays, I fail at it as a parent.
1. I can't stand having to get up before the kids, sorry Easter Bunny.
2. I hate waiting until the last minute the night before, sorry Santa Claus.
3. I never have cash on me, sorry Tooth Fairy.
4. I don't have the budget most of the time for the other holidays... there are no leprechaun traps being built or 15 foot blow up jack-o-lanterns.
I have made some very successful decisions though, that have worked out amazingly for my family. I have also changed some of the decisions over the years to make it work out better. I hope you can get something out of my experiences.
Birthdays: I am going to start out with my biggest success. Birthdays. My children only have birthday parties with their friends until they are school aged. Birth - 5 years old. Prime years. I take pride in these parties & I have gotten better at them. But, once they are in school... I am not going to duplicate the celebration. Since I send in cupcakes to school, I really do not need to also have all the class friends over for a birthday party. They had their cake. Instead we take the money we would have spent on the party and put it toward some sort of trip. It might be an up and back trip to Disney World, or it may be a family trip to the local zoo. It all depends on the budget and the current interest of the the birthday child.
In Retrospect - I would do absolutely nothing different. This has been one of our best decisions yet. At 16, each of our girls will have the option of having a sweet sixteen party or taking the money we'd put into the party & putting it toward their first car. Their choice.
The Tooth Fairy: I wish I was the person who came up with the ideas for "not under the pillow" tooth fairy drop off locations. Sneaking in without waking the kids, or even remembering to do it... is hard. Especially the more kids you have and the more teeth they lose. I rarely have cash on me appropriate for dropping off. This has led to some serious tooth fairy inflation. My once success is that if a tooth is left for the tooth fairy that has a cavity because of the child being lazy about brushing, she leaves floss, new toothbrush, toothpaste, etc. But no money.
In Retrospect: I am a big fan of skipping the under the pillow, and using the alternative methods. Some use pillows hung on the door. Others buy these cute little doors at the craft store and mount them on the wall at a baseboard, or at the top of a night stand. The tooth is left in a little basket on the tooth fairy's doorstep, by morning there is a coin in it's place. BRILLIANT. I would also advise any parent to decide what the tooth fairy is going to leave & stock up ahead of time. Leaving a silver dollar? Go ahead and hit the bank and get all the silver dollars you'll need. Going to leave a stash of tooth care supplies? Keep them in a bin in your closet or under you bed. Every one of my kids had a tooth fall out that I didn't even know was loose, at least once. I was not prepared.
New Years Eve: This is my 50/50 Holiday. The first tradition I wanted start was taking their photo right after the ball dropped. Unfortunately, this was not my most successful. When a new baby would come, I would be too tired to stay up. Sometimes we'd go out with friends, and we'd miss it. And, sometimes... I just forgot. We actually had 1 child before digital cameras were the norm. I'd forget to buy film or batteries for the flash. And once you miss a year or two, it's hard to pick it back up. Our second tradition was only a few years ago... and it has been a huge success. We even invite others into the mix. One NYE I do not cook dinner. I make a smorgasbord of goodies. It is all of our favorite snacks, cakes, treats and appetizers. I make it around 6pm and we eat off of it all night long. I always make sure to have 1 or 2 items per person that is their personal favorite.
In Retrospect - It never dawned on me, when I missed those photos... that I could take one the next day. I guess that is my OCD coming to play, if I can't do it right... I won't do it at all.
Valentines: I can take no credit for Valentines Day. This is all my husband. Each year, he buys the girls a Valentines gift. He places it in their seat, so they find it in the morning before they go to school.
In Retrospect: I fail at this. I tried to do it. I even bought these cute little lady bugs with hearts on them, that you fill each year with a gift on Valentines Day. I filled them the first year. I haven't seen them since.
St Patrick's Day: I know a lot of people who do some very creative things for this holiday. Leprechaun traps. Leprechaun pranks. Parades and festivals. Heck, I can't even remember to wear green on St. Patty's Day. In fact, just this year I finally got a cute little shamrock wreath for the the front door. In due time, I may catch up.
In Retrospect: I wish I did embrace this more. It relates to our heritage, and I fail at teaching our kids about recognizing our family roots. I also have seen so many pictures from my friends and heard about the fun things they do. I really wish I would get more into this holiday. Perhaps it's because I was overwhelmed with cornbeef and cabbage as a kid. I might be rebelling.
April Fool's Day: The internet is bursting with fun ideas to do to your kids on April Fool's Day. Many of them are messy or outside my realm of acceptability, which means my OCD has problems with it. I don't want to make a mess. I don't want to tint my whole gallon of milk a color or waste food. The irony here is that April Fool's Day is also my mother's birthday and I have no problem playing a good prank on her. I have also gotten a few pranks in on my husband. But I don't mess with the kids.
In Retrospect: I wish I would do something on this day, but I really have no desire. Perhaps this will be a new years resolution for me in 2014. Play more pranks. My grandfather would be proud if I did.
Easter: I can put together a mean Easter Basket. I can get it out on the table before anyone wakes up. I can get those eggs dyed. But I have such a hard time getting them hidden. I can't ever seem to get up before them. Despite my best efforts. Especially with the plans of heading to church and their post service functions.
In Retrospect: I wish I would have NOT gone the route of dyed eggs. I could buy some plastic eggs, fill them & tuck them away in the garage. I'd also avoid "hiding them" and instead just toss them in mass across the yard for more of an Easter Egg Roll (a'la the White House). This would be far more efficient with time, I could slip out and put the eggs out while the kids are looking through their baskets. My husband's mom used to skip hiding eggs altogether. She actually hid the Easter Basket. This is also an idea I think I should have entertained.
Mother's Day: On Mother's Day... I really want to just enjoy it. Do nothing. I don't want to go out to a buffet. I don't want to cook. I don't want to clean. I want to loaf. There have been some years where the kids have tried to make me breakfast in bed. Waking me up. Ugh.
In Retrospect: I should be a LOT more appreciative, even when they wake me up.
4th of July: We have never had or attended a 4th of July BBQ or event. We slip outside to watch the fireworks from the yard, and slink back inside. This probably surprises anyone who knows me and my political side well.
In Retrospect: I wish we would do SOMETHING. I am proud of my country, and I want my children to be as well.
Halloween: We do a decent job on Halloween. We get the costumes. Usually a pumpkin or two. But our decorating is far from anything enjoyable for the kids.
In Retrospect: I would NOT buy store bought costumes. Yes this is easier, but I really miss the idea of homemade costumes. And, once you have set the precedent for store bought costumes, it is hard to get away from it. Also, I think I would take advantage of the artificial pumpkins they sell at the craft store that you can carve and decorate. Not only are they generally less expensive than the real ones, but you can add new ones each year. Adding to a collection but also building up your decorations from year to year. I'd also dual purpose my decorations so that they last for Halloween and Fall. Perhaps with a few Halloween and Thanksgiving decorations added in as appropriate. I also recall from my childhood a family known for having Halloween Parties. I wish we would have started that tradition. The good news is that it isn't too late.
Thanksgiving: We go. We eat. We come home.
In Retrospect, I wouldn't change this. The kids get to spend more time with their cousins playing and having a good time. Sure we could do more crafts or talk about what we are thankful for. I am just glad they are able to spend time with their family. Some holidays, I think it is good to just relax and enjoy.
Christmas: This is the holiday where I think I have bombed the most, but am also actively improving.
Buy a new Christmas Book each year, and read it as part of our countdown to Christmas, with Christmas Eve being reserved for the Nativity Story. FAIL. I missed a few years, and now to catch up would cost me a fortune in books. Especially since when I started it the idea was to give the collection to my daughter when she became a mom. Now that I have 3 daughters... I'd have to buy in triplicate.
In Retrospect: I could have caught up before it got out of hand, but to be honest... we were horrible about gathering around the tree to read them anyway. We are not "that kind of family". We would rather sit on the couch and watch Christmas movies together. On that we have quite a collection. I do plan to try this again, when I am a grandma. We'll see.
Rein in the Christmas Giving. SUCCESS. We went from a slew of gifts to a select few. We give them 1 gift on Christmas Eve (usually something to encourage them to go to bed, new PJ's, pillow pets, etc). We give them 3 gifts on Christmas Day. Something they need. Something they want (usually small $ amount item). Something they desire (their big ticket item). And Santa leaves them just 1 gift.
In Retrospect: I would have stopped giving Santa the glory sooner. I have moments where I even wonder if I would do Santa at all, if I had it to do over. But I enjoy the "pretend" and "magic" of it. I won't lie. But, I do know that if I were to start our Santa traditions over again... 1) Santa would NOT get a list, he would chose the gift to leave. 2) It would be a handmade (or appear to be handmade) gift... not something they see on tv. Wood blocks. Fabric baby dolls. 3) Santa would leave ONE gift, and it would be simple. My husband works to hard to provide for this family to let some fictional man get all the credit for a slew of awesome gifts.
We also have never missed expressing to our children the importance of celebrating the birth of Jesus.
In Retrospect: I would put even more emphasis on this. I also wish I would have encouraged the family to do more volunteer work during this time. We do encourage giving, participating in the Angel Tree Donations, Operation Christmas Child, etc. But, I wish I would have encouraged more physical service.
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