Forgiveness ~ A lesson learned over time.

Recently I was asked how I could forgive or give grace to those who have wronged me.  My response was simply that the bible says that we are judged in the same measure that we judge others.  Since I  know I have made a LOT of mistakes & certainly would love a LOT of grace extended to me... I do the same for others.

It isn't easy.  It's an active choice.  I have to remind myself that I would want to be forgiven, and therefore I should be willing to forgive.

But, it is important to understand what forgiveness is & what it is not.

In a bible study recently a woman brought to my attention that when we are hurt, when we feel wronged, etc... we will spend valuable time thinking and replaying the situation over in our head.  We can allow it to consume our thoughts, to affect our relationships with others, to harden our hearts before the Lord and also allow it to affect our mental and physical health.

Which we can all agree with.

But then she said ... "the person who wronged you, probably hasn't given it a second of thought".

That's right.  They are not replaying it over in their head.  They are not wondering how they can fix it, or thinking how awful of a person they are.  They may not even realized what they did was wrong in the first place.

So what we have done, is given this person power over our life, our thoughts, our heart... and we may even find that it stand as a stumbling block in our relationship with God.

Forgiving others is less about them deserving it, but more about it US... freeing up our heart and avoiding the negativity that can consume us.

I also find, the more I forgive others... the more I have learned to forgive myself.