Do you need a hug?

When your child enters the teenager years, things get weird.  That little girl who wanted your opinion, now wants you to butt out.  That sweet face that would light up and tell you story after story, turns away and has nothing to say to you. The endless questions are asked of their friends, you are no longer an authority on everything.  Hugs and kisses are rarer than finding a diamond in your backyard.  Secrets are no longer shared.  I love yous are not returned.  In fact, often they can't even manage to sit in the same room as you.

It's a new road in the journey of motherhood.  This one you walk alone.

And then one day it happens.

You realize that deep below the surface, they still care.

For me it occurred on two specific occasions.  The first was when her friend ran away from home.  I called her, because we were concerned that her friend might show up to meet her at her school.  When I was getting ready to hang up with her, I said... "I love you"... and she replied "I love you too".  My heart soared.

I believe this was one of those moments where the uncertainty of her friend's well being reminded her of how much family loves each other, and how important kids are to their parents and relatives.  She knew that if I was showing this much concern for her friend, how much more would I show for her.

The second time was just this past week.  Some back story here is that my husband has a history of attempting to be funny, when he really isn't.  And often, too often, his attempts end up getting me hurt.  On this particular day, we had a snake in the yard.  We were attempting to locate the snake once we got the kids in the house.  We wanted to know if it was poisonous or not.    After we had determined it wasn't & were preparing to head back in... he thought it would be funny to throw something at me... as if he were throwing the snake.

His plan was doomed to fail.

1) I am not afraid of snakes.  So, I wouldn't be scared of it.
2)  He is deathly afraid of snakes.  So, I know he wouldn't actually pick one up.

As I turned  to give him the "eye of disbelief"... I realized what he had thrown at me.  A tube of lanscaping fabric.  When I put my arm to block it from hitting my face, the side whipped around and hit me square in the eye.

I was angry.

I was very upset with him, not about trying to be funny... not even because I got hurt... but because this is what always happens.  His attempts result in my getting injured.  At some point, he should realize that he just needs to stop.

I was angry that he just hadn't figured this out.  I was tired of getting hurt.

I came inside the house and went to our bedroom.  I just needed to be away from him.  My oldest came into the room to ask me a question.  She saw me crying, asked what happened.  I told her what her father had done, and that I was really mad at him & I needed to cool down.  Then she spoke the words I had longed to hear...

"Do you need a hug?"

Mothers, do not be discouraged on those days when your child suddenly becomes "too big" for hugs and kisses and I love yous.  Despite what they project on the exterior... if you have provided them with years of love and care, inside they do love you.

They hug you in those moments, they laugh with you in others.  They shine in the moments when you need them.  They show their love when they compliment your cooking, or that shirt you are wearing.

They say "I love you" in a new way.  Sometimes it is not audible.  Instead, it is the sag in the couch when the sit down to watch tv with you.