Becoming Proverbs 31 Woman, Christmas Style

 

 It has been an interesting week leading up to Christmas, and the recovery days that would follow.  I decided to use the scripture & detail out what happened this holiday, you'll see my notations within the scripture in red.  It may not be in chronological order, but you'll get the over all gist of the holidays in our home.

^10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.

Apparently this year, my value lied in a new laptop to replace my ridiculously slow computer that would randomly decide if it wanted to start up that moment or not.  You can't blame my IT hubby for this, or that I wasn't priority.  It was simply that I was unwilling to change & loved Windows XP (yes, you read that correctly).  The new laptop landed me in a time warp all the way to Windows 8.  I actually have had to relearn to use a computer, to a certain extent, because it is so vastly different than XP. 
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.

It would be about 10 days before Christmas and my husband would turn to me and say "do you think we could get the guest bathroom painted before the family comes over for Christmas.  You see, we were hosting this year.  Of course.  I showed him the ideas that I had running through my head for the bathroom & he was all for it.  He trusted me to do the work and make the purchases while he was busy at work.  He had full confidence that I would get it all done, and done well.  I even got to see a post from him on Facebook... praising the good job I had done. 
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.

It mas not have been all the days of my life, or even all the days of our marriage... but there was something about the motivation this year that had been different than previous years.  I didn't do everything on my list to bring praise to myself, but rather to my husband.   I wanted his friends to think "Justin has a great wife".  I wanted my family to see that I really loved, respected, cared and adored him.  That all I did was to be a reflection on him, and not for my own pats on the back.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.

It was more like liquid nails, glass tiles and grout in the bathroom, grout cleaner and bleach for the rest of the house, and a plethora of Christmas decorations to prepare the house for our visitors. 
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.

Oh, the food I made.  I have always enjoyed entertaining.  I have worked hard to select times and reasons to not attempt anything I found intimidating.  This year, I had no choice.  I had to make a whole turkey and I had to do it on my own.  (Despite my best efforts to get my mom to spend the night on Christmas Eve.) It was successful, I'll post the recipe at the end of the post. 
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.

I was most definitely up late working and up early the next day beginning my tasks again.  On Christmas day my middle child woke me up at 5:30am!  I should say attempted, as I sent her back to bed.  I had been exhausted from painting and decorating the bathroom, cleaning the grout in the house, shopping for gifts, attending functions and that was not even including my actual business that I had to attend to.  There was plenty of food to go around, I could have fed an army.  I wanted everyone who came to the house to feel satisfied and content, full and able to bring left overs home.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

I have been having a lot of thoughts about the future of my business.  Where it should go, how I should get there.  I am at the next stage in my business, which takes a financial jump... am I ready to make it?  Is now the time?  Do I sit where I am at, content with what I have, for now?
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.

Thanks to my personal trainer Katie, my arms are strong for my tasks. But, each morning they would wake up feeling like wet noodles from all of the work I had been doing.  By Christmas morning I had no grip strength left in my hands to open the jars of pickles and olives for the traditional relish tray. 
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.

I think that this year my trading has been profitable.  I was under budget in Christmas shopping.  I saved a lot of money doing the bathroom renovations myself and making wise choices on how and where I spent it.  I made what little we had go far.  Sometimes profit is not found in the money we made, but the money we save.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

For whatever reason, this makes me think of the turkey.  Trying to figure out how to get it's legs out of the plastic holders without wrecking it, as the instructions said to put them back in the holders after I stuffed the turkey.  Grasping the skewer used to truss the neck flap.  Fun fun fun.  Julie Childs, I am not.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.

With all the food planned, I had opened my home to a few folks that I wasn't sure had plans for Christmas dinner.  And we made some plans to continue that through the coming year.  Sometimes we need to remember that the "poor" and the "needy" are not just people who are homeless or struggling financially.  It can be the poor in spirit, the emotionally needy (in a good not toxic way).  Sometimes they need to know that someone is thinking about them, cares for them and is wanting to include them when they may be feeling alone and unhappy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

It may not be snowing here, but knowing that our eldest was going to be heading to North Carolina for the youth trip, I wanted her to be better prepared than last time.  Never let a native Floridian, who has never seen snow, be in charge of shopping for proper snow attire.  I did much better this year.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

I wore a dress.  Yes, for those who know me in real life, you read that correctly too.  I actually wore a dress for my husband.  He has been asking me to.  He has been hinting that it would be nice as I continue to lose weight to see me in sun dresses and such things.  So I shopped for dresses to wear to a holiday party.  I didn't tell him, it was a surprise.  The funny thing was, on Christmas day, before the family arrived.... my husband went back to change from his PJ's worn all day.  He came out in dress pants, a dress shirt and a tie!  Just as I don't wear dresses much, he doesn't get dressed up much either.  I did something special for him, and he did something special for me.  This is wearing even the attempt at being a Proverbs 31 woman pays off.  As we change, grow and evolve... as we do for them.... the more they change, grow and evolve & do for us in kind.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

I worked hard this holiday to prepare my home for my husband and family, to be a better wife and mother.  I know that my husband appreciated it and I  know (based on comments made) that my family sees my husband in a different light because of how I see him.  We have a young couple as neighbors, who have a baby.  Since the baby was born, the mother's mom has been around a lot.  It is very evident that she does not like the father... at all.  She has spoken to us just a few times, and everything she says about him is negative and hurtful.  I am grateful that my mom loves my husband, as a son (and she told me this weekend as a friend).
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.

My business has taken a slower turn this holiday (thanks to Pinterest and the growing numbers of do-it-yourselfers).  I am learning over time that money made is not the only way to help the family, to be profitable.  It also comes with being wise in your spending, looking around your home and eliminating your excess & selling that off to add money to your account vs. stuff to your storage cabinets.  It also includes being charitable with your money.  You can't add money to a closed fist.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.

As I begin to let go of the stressors, the things that I have allowed to weigh me down, the more I pursue being a Proverbs 31 woman... the more I realize that the troubles that come up in life are nothing more than a circumstance that passes with the wind... the less I worry.  I know that God has this in control.  I know there are better things to come.  I know that if this is the worst I have to contend with... I am blessed beyond measure.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

I am working hard on my relationship with my eldest teen.  Speaking to her more frankly.  Not allowing my emotions to get the better of me, to allow myself to take her attitude too personally.  Instead when we are out of the moment, I speak to her about the choices she is making without allowing things to get out of hand.  I am finding more peace with her & in our home.  I am hoping to bring my husband along for the ride.  Despite her teenage angst and attitude, we have an amazing daughter.  Who is just like her mother as a teen.... trying to get away with as much as she can, while she can.  Adulthood and responsibilities come too quickly. 
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.

About a year and a half ago, I had decided to start this guest bathroom project.  I had been acquiring things for the bathroom decorating, trying out paint colors, etc.  At some point I just gave up on the process.  I don't know if it was doubt in myself, a feeling that we could never afford to make it look like I wanted, the notion that the work was pointless because of my messy kids, or perhaps a combination of all of the above.  The motivation was gone. I didn't care.  In my pursuit of becoming a Proverbs 31 woman, that has changed.  I believe because it was less about impressing others and more about letting my husband know that I appreciate the home he works so hard for.  When things become less about you, and more about other people.... not only does motivation change, but it changes drastically.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:

My eldest daughter had spent the weekend with my mother, while I was working on the bathroom.  When she came home she complimented me on it.  Occasionally I get to see these moments where she shows appreciation and praises me.  There are moments when I realize she isn't as "tough" as she tries to put off.  Perhaps one day soon, I will actually hear her say "I love you too" as she gets out of the van at school drop off.
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”

I would hardly say that I surpass them all... or even half of them.  I know there are women who are better at a lot of things than I am.... including their service and dedication to their homes, family and God.  But I am trying.  I am still running the race.
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Charm is deceptive.  Beauty is definitely fleeting (those gray hairs keep showing up).  I am working on my relationship with God.  That is what counts.  As that relationship improves.... everything around it improves.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

I'd much rather serve as an inspiration to others... Proverbs 31 Women can exist in the modern world, we can affect our households, we can change the lives we touch and we can influence the world we live in.  One change, one step, one verse at a time.

Gena's Turkey Recipe:

14 lb turkey

1 vidalia onion (quartered)

1 whole elephant garlic head  (separated and peeled, take 2 largest cloves and halve them)

1 honey crisp apple (quartered, then halve 2 of those quarters)

1 lemon (quartered)

1 stick of butter (cut along tablespoon marks on package)

3 cups of water

10 springs of fresh sage

10 springs of fresh rosemary

10 springs of fresh parsley

10 fresh basil leaves

handful of freshly trimmed thyme

herb salt

pepper

olive oil

skewer 

aluminum foil

Remove bag & neck.  Wash down turkey, pat dry & set in roasting pan.  Slide hand between skin and muscle on the breast.  Slide pats of butter between skin and muscle.  You'll use most of it here.  Then toss a few into the body cavity and one or two into the neck cavity.  Insert 3 onion quarters, 2 apple quarters, garlic cloves (minus 1 and the halved cloves), 3 lemon quarters, and 5 of each herbal sprigs and 1/2 handful of thyme into the body cavity, truss the legs.  Into the neck cavity put 1 quarter onion, 1 garlic clove and 1 lemon quarter and skewer it closed.  Tuck the wing tips under the body.  Use your 4 pieces of garlic clove and remaining apple pieces and tuck one of each between the legs and the body (in the crease) and the same in the wings area.  Drizzle olive oil on the breast and rub in, carrying it to the legs.  Sprinkle with herb salt and pepper.  Pour 3 cups of water into your roasting pan, put the rest of the herbs in the water (including the 10 basil leaves).

Preheat oven NOW to 425.

Allow the turkey to sit until oven is heated.  Then place turkey on bottom rack.  Roast until the turkey turns golden color to your preference.  If you notice your wings won't stay tucked, just add some foil to the tips so that they don't burn.  

Once you are happy with the color of the turkey, cover the legs and breast with foil, then tent the whole pan with foil.  Turn down oven to 350 and cook for the remaining recommended time (20 minutes per pound, minus the amount of time you roasted it for).

Take the turkey out, check if the thermometer popped out.. or use your own.  If done, cover tightly with foil, until ready to serve.  Allow at least 20 minutes of resting time before serving.

This turkey will literally fall off the bone.

Bon Apetit!