My job, my mission.

When I was in high school, it was so very clear to me what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.  I wanted to be an actress.  Not a just a famous actress, but a respected actress.  Think less Lindsay Lohan and more Meryl Streep.

God had different plans for me.

But, I can't lie that bend towards doing or being something great in my life has never gone away.

When I started down the line of Drama Ministry, I thought I could end up well known and respected there.  When I started script writing, I thought that would be my place in the world.

When I started serving in Women's Ministry, I thought I'd become a speaker.... and that would take me down the road to writing a book, and perhaps one day when you bought your tickets for Women of Faith ... you'd be coming to see me.

Again, this was never from a place of just being successful, but respected.

Which is something that gets me on another tangent.  So many of the texts for husbands and wives talk about him wanting respect, while she wants love.  And while yes, I do want love... I really want my husband's respect.  But that, my friends, is a topic for another day.

I am a woman who wants to be respected.  I thought that respect would come from doing something great.  And it did, but not in the way I imagined.

It came in the form of a baby, swaddled and handed to me.  A life that I would have a chance to mold into a person better than I have ever been.   Not realizing it would be she that would make me a better person.  That this little bundle would reconcile me with my Savior, in a way greater than ever before.

When she was just about to hit school age, I thought to myself "now is the time" and I called up my agent and said I was ready to work again.  Less than a year later, God said WAIT.  Another swaddling bundle would enter my world.  This time not only did I once again have a great mission in impacting this child, but it would be that as a result of her conception, my life would be saved.  It would draw attention to the cells trying to attack my body & we would be able to catch it before it became a vicious cancer.  When she was about to hit school age, I thought again.... NOW is the time.

But God would once again say WAIT.  A third precious bundle would come into my world and bring with it peace.   One daughter brought me to God on my knees.  One daughter saved my life from disease.  One daughter would fill my life with peace.  I was amongst the least of these, and they were the ones making ME a better person, a better Christian.

As this third precious child was about to enter her school years.... I had a thought.  NOW is NOT the time.  My last bundle was walking into the world and my oldest child was entering the last 4 years of her adolescence.    Now is not the time for me to do anything but focus on the mission that God set before me.  My mission is motherhood.  The greatest mission ever.  The greatest impact I can make on the world, is by pouring myself into them, and pointing them to the cross.

I had to be told THREE times.

"Do not have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments
because you know they produce quarrels."  2 Timothy 2:23

 Honestly.  I could just stop there.  That moment when scripture itself speaks directly to the problem at hand.  The scripture that needs no interpretation or explanation.  It's plain and clear.  You do not need a Strong's Concordance for this one.  

Yet, this was not even the first time this warning was spoken.  It had already been mentioned in 2 Tim 2:14.  But, it needed repeating within the SAME chapter!  When you keep reading, you'll find it again in the next book, Titus (2:9) 3 times in just a few short chapters.  Lord, I think I might be finally getting your message.  I sit here convicted.  I should have known better.  In fact, I did know better.

We have all been there at some point or another, where we find ourselves in an argument or stand off with another person (friend, coworker, parent, spouse, child).  In the end we hug, making up for arguing over "something so stupid".  (I know a few of you reading this are shaking your head in agreement).  But, in short order, we find ourselves doing it again.  Engaged in another pointless argument over something that in the grand scheme of life means nothing.  

Let it happen too often, and stupid arguments become big quarrels.   They will begin putting stress on relationships, and ultimately breaking them.  Some times beyond repair.   Convicted.  That's me. I have allowed myself to engage in stupid arguments too many times. I have felt the pain.  I have sensed the stress.  I have failed to repair.

Proverbs 21:23 "Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble."

Lord, I am grateful that your word continues to be a guide in my life.  I pray for discernment on how and when to use my words, and when they are best left unsaid.

*Written by Gena McCown for the TC3 Women's Ministry Devotion Blog

Stop Giving Money Power

When I was younger, we grew up with very little money.  While I wouldn't call us poor, we were not  middle class.  I never went without electricity, but I can recall meals were sometimes an issue.  For example, I can recall digging in the couch & car looking for enough change to buy 2 50c tacos from Taco Bell and a $1 soda to split with my mom.  I can remember when she started dating again, she would only eat 1/2 of her meal and bring the rest home for me as my dinner.

Things eventually got better as my siblings moved out of the house.  But, this time period had a distinct impression on me.

Money was important.

I didn't know much about what I wanted to do with my future, other than the fact I wanted to do something that would make me a lot of money.  Money meant power to me.  Power to control your future.  Power to have whatever you wanted in life.  The more money I had, that more I could do.

I remember getting my first real job, after graduating high school.  One of the first things I did was "establish credit" by opening up a credit card account at a local store.  After several months of buying things and paying off my bill, I was upgraded to a gold card.  This made me feel so very important, like I had achieved some sort of status.

I got older, married, had a baby and became a stay at home mom.

I watched as our monthly income dwindled to down & things got harder.

I had lost power.

Power to get whatever I wanted, financially.
Power to make decisions on what I bought, since my husband was providing the income.
Power to go further in life, a loss of status.

Or, so I thought.

I had given money so much power, that without it I felt lost.  I didn't think I had anything.  And prospects.  Any future.  Then I started doing whatever I could to attain that power again.  I was trying to figure out ways to bring in money.

Over the years we would be brought to humbleness in regards to our money.  We almost lost our home.  Something had changed in me, by that point.

My husband and I began taking a class called "Financial Peace University" at a local church.  Over the course of the study, I realized how little power money actually had.  I stopped allowing money (how much or how lack there of) to define who I was or how my life would be lived.

My emotional attachment to the need of money was gone.

It was easier to give money away, to those who were in need.
It was easier to spend it on my kids and not complain about my "sacrifices" for the family.
When something broke that was an expensive repair, I didn't worry.  It was just money.  Pieces of paper sitting around, with the purpose of being spent for just this very thing.

And if we had to go without for a while, that was ok too.

You see once I took the power away from money, it wasn't important to me at all.

What did become important was what I was doing with that money.

I didn't care so little about it that I would waste it, I simply recognized that while money had no power ... I did.  God did.

Money doesn't solve our problems.  It either makes the bigger, or simply gives us different ones.  People with a lot of money are not happier.  They are not exempt from the troubles in this life.

Some of the happiest people are those who have a lot less money, but a lot more quality in their lives.

God of Wonders

Do you find yourself caught in doubt? Have you ever wondered what God is doing in your life, circumstances or in the world around you?

I wonder what God is doing in this situation?

I wonder what God is trying to teach me?

I wonder when God is going to answer my prayers?

Most Christians will admit to a time in their life where they wondered about God and his plans.

Isaiah 55:8-9 (MSG) “I don't think the way you think. The way you work is not the way I work. For as the sky soars above the earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work, and the way I think is beyond what you think.”.

It is comforting to me, in my moments of doubt and wonder, to cling to this scripture. I may never on this earth or in paradise know what God was doing, but God definitely knows what He has in store for us. However, I still can't help falling into moments of wonder.

I wonder what God sees in me? God sees what no one else sees, because He created me and He chose me to belong to Him. This has been part of His plan since the foundations of creation. (Ephesians 1:4-6 & Ephesians 1:11)

Ephesians 1:11 – We were chosen to belong to him. God decided to chose us long ago in keeping with his plan. He works out everything to fit his plan and purpose.

I wonder if God hears my prayers? God may not be appearing to answer your prayers, but what you may not see is what God is doing in the background. We have to trust that He has our best interest at heart, and that all things will be done in His perfect timing. Our prayers will be answered according to His will, not our own.

Jeremiah 17:7-8 – Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by the water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when the heat comes, for it's leaves remain green , and it is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.

I wonder what God has planned for me? If God does see something in me, if His ways are not my ways, and God is hearing my prayers.... then what exactly is it that God is doing in my life? What does he have planned? Scripture tells us that God knows us well.

Psalm 139:-4 – O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise, you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down, you are familiar with my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely.

God knows what we are capable of on our own, and what we are capable of when we let Him guide us. He takes our natural gifts and magnifies them. He equips those He calls & at the appointed time He has called them.

I wonder if others can see what God is doing? Sometimes we begin to wonder if others can see what God is doing, even when we can't. We may be getting better at our prayer life, digging into the Word more, attending church regularly... but are we really different? Are others able to see Christ in us? Are we a good representation of Christ in the world? Growth and change take time. Others may see changes long before we recognize them. But God is working in us so that we become that “new creation” spoken about in 2 Corinthians 5:17. As we grow, God will move us along in His plan. It is a journey, and for some of us the journey will be longer than others.

Colossians 1:10-11 – And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience.

I wonder if God really cares about me? I am just one little person in this big world. God cares so much about us, He sent is own son to die on a cross for each of us. You and me. He has known every day we would live before the first was written. He created us, knitting us together in our mother's womb (Psalm 139:13). He puts support in place for us, to help us on our journey through this life. This support comes in the form of the Holy Spirit within us, His Word that we can depend on and learn from, our Church and sisters in Christ that we can lean on and grown with.

I wonder what will happen if and when I mess up? I am not perfect. In the parable of the prodigal son, we see a son who was raised just like his brothers... but went off on his own path. But when he returns home, his father accepts him, arms wide open and tends to all his needs. (Luke 15)

God isn't finished with us yet. We will stumble and fall sometimes, but God doesn't give up on us. He welcomes us back with open arms.

I wonder what I ever did to deserve the love that God has for me? Nothing.

God loves us, because God is love (John 4:8)

God loves us, because God created us. (Genesis 1:26-28)

He loves us when we don't love him. He is faithful to the faithless (2 Tim 2:13)

I wonder if God knows how much I love him and how thankful I am for his blessings in my life?

What are you doing in your life to answer that question?

* Written for the TC3 Women's Ministry Devotion Blog