Movement.

This weekend I attended The Gospel Coalition's National Women's Conference, in Orlando FL.   The woman who arrived, and the woman who left... simply are not the same person.

Prior to this conference, I was in a "state of shift".  My friend, Jane, coined that phrase in reference to that time period where you know that a change is going to happen, but you are not sure what it is.  And, I think it's a pretty good description.  If you have ever driven a manual transmission car (aka stick shift, or 5 speed) you will know shifting is the act of moving from one gear to the next.  You start in first gear, shift to second, and so on. 

When you drive a manual transmission car, there is a cue that it is time to shift from one gear into the next.  In the past, you would watch the RPMs to know when to shift.  In the more modern, smart cars, there is an indicator to let you know to shift (aka "the dummy light").  But for those of us who have been driving manual cars for a long time, we can actually feel a change in the car, it tells us that it is time to shift.

The good news is that with a car, you know where you are shifting to.  The next gear.  However, in life, when you start feeling that need to shift....  you are not always certain where you are shifting to.

It is exciting.

It is, also, terrifying.  

The unknown.

By the end of the conference, I was no longer in a "state of shift" but instead I was in forward movement.  Some very clear directions were delivered to me.  I have a place to shift to.  I still don't know the final destination, but that is ok.  When driving a manual car, you don't shift from first gear to fifth.  You have to work up through the rest of the gears first.

I have a lot to say in the coming weeks about the conference itself, so I'm leaving a bit of a cliffhanger. 

But right now, I sit back in awe.  Listening to the Word of God.  Following His directions for today, and letting tomorrow worry about itself.

Asking Why?

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.                      (Galatians 1:10)  

Recently, I met with my study group and one of the ladies attending asked a question that took me off guard.  She asked us all "Why?", specifically why were we doing this particular study, what was our motivation?

Why?  

That is a small question with big implications.  And, her question stuck with me.  Why, indeed.  I started applying that question to everything I was doing... my decisions, my schedule, my responses.  I began using it like a speed bump in my journey through life.  Allowing it to slow me down and really make me think.

 Then I noticed, I began to apply it to other people.  If they said something that upset me, instead of responding immediately... I asked myself "Why, do you think she said that?".

I was able to see things a bit clearer in my life and in my relationship with others.  Why, gave me clarity.

In Galatians 1:10, we are presented with a WHY question.  Why are we doing the things we do, saying the things we say?  Are we doing it for the approval of man?  Or, of God?  Are we doing it to be accepted by the world?  Or, is it for the Kingdom?  Are we trying to please others?  Or, God?

And, in a further step in thought.... am I doing it for my glory or His? In the new year, we face a lot of choices.  I challenge all of us to add the question of WHY into our decision making process.  Pray that God will reveal the motivations of our heart and the heart of others so that we can make the decisions that glorify Him!

*Written by Gena McCown for the TC3 Women's Ministry Devotion Blog

Is Your Soap Box Too Big

 

“It is my judgment, therefore, that we should not make it difficult for the Gentiles who are turning to God.”    Acts 15:19

Recently, I was reading a blog series called “The Homemaking Pharisee” and a portion jumped off the screen at me. The author had a subject matter she was overtly passionate about, it was purely her opinion... but she had allowed it to become gospel to her. It had become an idol. Because of this, people were unwilling to talk to her or include her in discussions about the topic. Finally someone brought this to her attention. Her response: “I do not want to be that person who no one can talk to about that subject because my soap box is just too big.”.

  Some well meaning Christians can trip into being just like the Pharisees! We can get wrapped up in things we are passionate about or where God has called us & try to make everyone else apply that in their lives. A strong Christian can easily chuck those things right off their shoulders. We know what The Word says. But for a new believer, we can create unrealistic expectations. We can make ourselves seem so “holy” that they will fear even speaking to us!  And, when people start fearing talking to us... they can quickly disappear from our lives, our studies and our church.

Lord, I pray that you will reveal to me the areas where I have allowed my pride to get before my witness. Help me to soften my heart and my attitude to those around me. Let me speak your truth, not my own. Amen.

*Written by Gena McCown for the TC3 Women's Ministry Devotion Blog

In the World

My prayer is not that you take them out of the world, but that you protect them from the evil one.
John 17:15

There was a time in my early adulthood, I had to walk away from my friends. All of them. They were not good influences on me. When I had made some decisions in my life to change the path I was going down, they were not supportive. I knew at that time in my life, this was not working. I had to walk away. I had to surround myself with those who would lift me up, encourage me & help me stay on the straight and narrow.

In time, I would begin to surround myself with Christians who shared the same convictions. I would grow stronger in my faith. At first it was all very serious, bible studies, church fellowship. We were not having “fun” in the same sense as I did before. I can't deny that I missed having fun with my friends. Eventually, I found myself within a group of Christian women who were having FUN. We were laughing until the tears started flowing, we were dancing the night away, celebrating holidays with each other. Creating memories & filling that void in the “FUN” department that I had been longing for.

As I was putting myself back out in the world, I started making non-Christian friends too. We would have a good time together as well. But, admittedly I kept them separate. Let's face it, they didn't always use the best language and would sometimes have pretty liberal views on politics, religion and life in general. After several years, I decided I was going to have a small gathering of my friends. I had invited one of my non-Christian friends to attend. Unfortunately at the last minute, she had to cancel. But she said something I will never forget... “Gena, I am so disappointed that I couldn't come and meet the rest of your friends. I adore you, and you are such a great person...I am sure your other friends are too. I wish I could have met them. If they are anything like you, I bet they are lovely.” She was wanting to surround herself with more people like me. What made me different than any of her other friends or acquaintances? Christ.

She saw me as a Christian woman, who cared about people, was a dedicated wife and mother, but she also saw that I was fun to be around. She heard me, when I spoke about my failures and imperfections. She heard me, when I talked about striving to do and be better. Every conversation wasn't a deep theological debate. I wasn't trying to spend every waking moment of our friendship trying to convert her. I was simply being a good friend, who loved her, cared about her, and was there for her. As a natural part of our friendship... God entered the picture. If she was going to get to know me, it wasn't something that could be avoided. The more she go to know me, the more she desired to know more people that were like me.

God doesn't want us to surround ourselves with only other Christians. If we do that, we can't reach those who do not know Him. We have no influence on the world. We are not light in the darkness. However, we don't walk out into the world without His protection. We wear the Armor of God. We understand His love for us, and His desires for us to follow His word. We pray for His protection. We stand firm in our convictions. It is His spirit within us, that draws others to us. We are just the vessel.

A challenge my husband presented me with was to each day pray to God asking Him to make me a vessel in the course of my day.  Asking Him to give me the right words, at the right moment.  Sometimes we have a once in a life time opportunity to reach a person, other times it is slow through the course of building a relationship. 

*Written by Gena McCown for the TC3 Women's Ministry Devotion Blog

I Stand Corrected

I am going to be honest, I do not take well to criticism.  I am an eager learner, I don't mind being corrected when I am wrong.  I value the opinions of others.  I am a move forward, not back kind of girl. But, there are times when I can allow criticism to get under my skin.  But, there is a difference between criticism and correction.

Recently my husband informed me that I “don't finish projects”.  For those reading this, who know me personally, you are probably wondering if this man knows me at all!  My husband was not correcting me or guiding me, he was being critical.  I didn't take kindly to it and I proceeded to remind him that he was the one who initiated our journey into Dave Ramsey living.  If he would like me to finish our household projects, I'd be happy to... the moment he handed me a credit card or expanded my personal budget.  (I was being very sarcastic, I really wouldn't do that.)   I wanted him to understand I was doing the best with what I was given, and he needed to be patient through our “cash only process”. 

As I was reflecting on the confrontation I had with my friend (see last week's devotion), I asked myself if I was being critical of her.  Or, was my assessment of the situation accurate & correction was the right course.  That is, after all, what correction is.  We are helping someone who has taken a turn get back on course.  In some cases it is an obvious sharp turn, and in others it has been a slow, gradual, drift.  When I struggle with anything like this, I always turn to the Word.  If I can figure out what God has to say about it, perhaps figuring out my next steps won't be so hard. I also reached out to those I consider wise counsel.

As a result, I came to find that scripture not only tells us that we should correct our sisters in Christ, but we are also told how we should be responding to correction.  In reading this, it not only confirmed for me that my friend was responding incorrectly, but also made me take at look at my own responses to correction (and criticism
too).

Proverbs 19:20     Take good counsel and accept correction— that’s the way to live wisely and well.

How do you respond when someone corrects you?  Do you get defensive?  Do you make excuses?  Do you try and pass the buck & blame someone else?  Or, do you try to justify your behavior in order to make it ok?  When you read last weeks devotion, did you relate to it?  Have you responded in the same way my friend did?  Do you take it personally when a friend tries to encourage you to have a different perspective?  And, as Pastor Gordon asked us in our last series... are you
teachable? 

This bit of advice was shared with me, just this past week:
"When someone gives you advice that you don't want to hear, you should not react until you have:
            1) prayed about it
            2) compared the advice to Scripture
            3) asked yourself, is it true?" 
      
Being accountable to each other as friends is a two way street.  We must be willing to not only give correction, but also receive it.  If I speak in truth and love, then I should receive with love and humbleness.  I need to embrace this person, who cared about me enough to call me out on my behavior, and help me realize what I was doing & become better for it.

Proverbs 27:17    As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Lord, I pray that you give me a mouth that speaks, when it is time to speak; and ears to listen, when it is time to listen.  Help me to speak in YOUR truths, through MY love for my sisters in Christ.  Let me received YOUR truth, through THEIR love for me.  Protect our friendship from division, so that we may continue to encourage each other to be focused on YOU. Amen.

*Written by Gena McCown for the TC3 Women's Ministry Devotion Blog

I am NOT the boss.

Since I was a small child, I have been a bit of a boss. Some would say it is my Irish heritage, others would say that I am like my grandmother. The fact of the matter is, I can be bossy. Really bossy. A fact I have spent years trying to correct. Couple my inherent bossiness with my need for justice, and I am a force to be reckoned with. A great example of this, will take us on a journey to about 10 years ago.

I was working in direct sales & I was doing really well in the company, leader over my entire state. I also and had a very good relationship with the owner of the company.    We were getting ready for a large training event, and I sincerely disagreed with a decision the owner had made. I confronted the owner about it. I continued the disagreement with her over the issue to the point we had to have mediation through a neutral third party.

It was during a women's conference, about a year later, that in a single moment truth hit me. Who was I? Who was I to think I could tell this woman how to run her company? Right or wrong, this was not MY company. I had no right to expect her to bend to my demands.  I came home and immediately drafted a letter of apology to her. It had nothing to do with my feelings about the decision, but everything to do with me taking accountability for my actions. She graciously accepted my apology & our relationship began to heal over time.

Proverbs 29:11 A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

In my situation, I certainly felt I was right. Sometimes though it is not about being right, it is about being wise.   I made poor decisions on confronting the owner, poor decisions on how to react to her stance & in the end poor decisions on my part on how to proceed further.   The deeper I allowed myself to get into the argument, I became angry & I gave full vent to that anger. I made it personal, I elevated the situation and ultimately I brought us to the point of mediation. If I were wiser at that time, I would have tempered myself and my tongue.

Proverbs 12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Once I was able to realize my error, I was able to make amends. But, what was a strong relationship was going to take time to heal. It was a hard lesson to learn, but once you learn such a lesson you strive to not repeat the same mistake again.

God wants us to approach situations with wisdom and not foolishness.

Two women were before King Solomon, each claiming a child as their own. Solomon ordered the child to be cut in half, then each woman would be given half of the child. The true mother could have continued to argue that the child was hers. She would have been right, but her decision would have cost the life of her son. Instead, she opted to make a wise decision. She told Solomon to spare his life and give him to the other woman. It was through this wise decision on her part, that Solomon knew who the real mother was. The woman who put aside being right, and instead spared the life of the child. (A Wise Ruling 1 Kings 3:16-28)

Can you think of a time where your quest to be right, cost you more than you would have gained?

How can you rectify this past occurrence, or prevent it from happening again?

Heavenly Father, I ask you today to guide my words. Guide me to fight the good fight and to turn the other cheek. Help me to discern between being wise and being right. Let me find peace in times of strife & help me to find the path to restoration in relationships my decisions may have damaged. Through you I can forgive and be forgiven. Amen.

* Written by Gena McCown for the TC3 Women's Ministry Devotion Blog