A huge challenge that faces Women's Ministry teams is connecting with our younger counterparts. They are the young women who are no longer part of the youth group, but not ready for the MOPS group. They may be college aged, or in the early to mid thirties. They are possibly married, maybe still single. They have no kids. No commitments. They may have some disposable income, or on a fixed budget.
Regardless, the idea of coming to a Women's Ministry brunch is not appealing to them.
They see it a comfort food potluck.
Full of fancy decorations or shabby chic had made pieces.
They see tea, coffee and lemonade.
The speaker talks about marriage problems, friendship problems, kid problems.
This doesn't appeal to the young single woman, who is going out dancing on Friday Nights, taking boat trips on the weekends, hanging out a wine bar with her friends, or shopping with her sisters. She has dates to go on, possibly to meet Mr. Right. Her friends are getting married & she is part of that team. She hops on planes and travels to exotic locations.
She doesn't want to get up early on a Saturday morning, her only day to sleep in.
What does Women's Ministry do to meet these women? They start peppering in "Ladies Night Out" events where they go to a pottery class or art studio. They invite women from the church to share their testimonies versus hiring in speakers on special topics. They update their decor. They reach out to these young women at retreats. But yet, this doesn't seem to be enough to engage them for long term relationships in the ministry.
We then start trying new things... ice skating at night, or a dinner out. Yet the young women don't show. And the older women don't either. They plan a brunch at a local restaurant to remove the pressure of cooking, it doesn't change the demographic of women who come.
Leaving a Women's Ministry team to wonder: What they are doing wrong?
I'm going to pose the idea that we are doing NOTHING WRONG, EVERYTHING RIGHT.
I am coming to a place where, I think, I understand the issue. The issue is we are trying to include people who do not need or want to be included. This is not something we should be offended by either. It is ok if they don't come.
Women come to Women's Ministry events for about 4 general reasons.
1) Obligation. Some come simply because they think they are supposed to.
2) Desire to Connect. They come because they want and even need the fellowship, they are looking to make friendships with other believers.
3) The Speaker or Subject. They come because the speaker is their friend, and they are supporting her. Or because the topic the speaker is of interest. Or for the "ladies night" activities, they come because they like to paint or go kayaking.
4) They Seek Jesus. They are looking to learn and relate more to Jesus in a less intimidating setting. Perhaps they are not ready to dive into a small group or bible study class.
On the other hand, women do NOT come for the exact OPPOSITE reasons.
1) Not Obligated. They don't feel an obligation to come. It could be because they see it as antiquated and for the older women in the church. Depending on their history, they may have been raised in a church that didn't have an active women's ministry.
2) They are Already Connected. Generally speaking the younger women have circle of friends who are just like them. They have not entered that new area of adulthood where marriage, kids, finances and other obligations are consuming their time and energy. They have friends, through college or church, already. Their "dance cards" are full.
3) The Speaker or Subject, is Irrelevant. As a young, unmarried, childless, woman.... these topics may not even be on her radar yet. Rekindling your marriage, navigating motherhood, creating friendships... are simply not important. YET.
4) She Seeks Jesus. She comes to church. She is part of a young adults group, or even still helping out as leader with the Youth Ministry. She is reading her bible at home. She even has more time to go on missions trips and conferences, because she doesn't have the same restraints on her time, as the married mom or wise grandmother. Women's Ministry events are not her path to Jesus.
So, how did I come to these conclusions?
It was really quite simple. I reached out to a bunch of women who fit the demographic we were looking to connect with. I asked for their input. I was really direct, that we as a ministry felt we were failing to meet their needs. I asked for what we could change or what types of activities would appeal to them.
Time passed.
Nothing.
Literally, NOTHING.
For a long time.
Then, a brief email popped across my inbox...
"I'm just seeing this, sorry. I'll think about this and get back to you."
And, I'm still waiting.
That was when it hit me. Women's Ministry was not important to this demographic. Not because Women's Ministry isn't important. But rather, because this particular group of women don't need it.
Not yet.
One day, they will.
And we will be to welcome them.
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